It is with utmost respect that I write today to inquire about your recent disciplinary action against the citizens of Grande Prairie. I am seeking clarification on why we are being punished. Have we not been thankful enough for the warm, t-shirt-bearing days of late summer? Have we angered you in some way?
Now, I do realize and accept that Christmas is a popular holiday, for which many individuals wish there to be snow. But may I so kindly remind you that Christmas is still two months and 15 days away - there is no rush to fulfill this seasonal requirement. I ensure you there is plenty of time to prepare for a "White Christmas", as they say, and furthermore guarantee that a White Hallowe'en is not on the wishlist of anyone of merit. If my memory serves me right, it wasn't 2 weeks ago that a neighbour stopped me to comment on the changing of the winds, and the morning of autumn. I fondly agreed, it being my favourite of all the seasons. You see, in my humble opinion, autumn is a critical transitional period, one which provides the body and mind a time to ease into the bitter slap of winter's cold backhand to the face.
With this expectation in mind, you can imagine that waking up to a few inches of snow on my vehicle was neither enjoyable nor, frankly, appreciated, this 10th day of October. Your dichotomous hot-and-cold attitude has been unsettling for my mental and emotional health and that of those around me, as unpredictability indisputably feeds unrest. As such, I strongly urge you to reconsider your recent decision to skip the loveliest of all seasons in favour of a premature snowy term. Is there no middle ground between the fond embrace of summer and the stabbing frigidity of winter?
Kindly consider this plea and grant the citizens of this beautiful town with the season of Autumn. On behalf of them, I will forgive your recent childish behaviour only under these circumstances.
I leave you with this: Have the sun-kissed faces of summer children, aglow with the sun's gentle touch, seen their last warm afternoon of the year? Must you leave the tan lines to fade and the bathing suits and bottles of sunscreen to age hopelessly in cupboards for another eight months? What about the satisfying crunch of autumn leaves, the bright warm colours of fall's dress? Dare you deprive Mother Nature a season to wear her most beautiful gown? Is there nothing I can do or say to slow the process?
I eagerly await your response to this request.
Bundled up,
 |
| Taken in mid-afternoon, when much of morning's snow had already melted away. |
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