Home, Sweet Home

I arrived home, safe and sound, on June 8th, 2010, back in my own house on my own street in my own city. 

Back where the summers are hot and the winters are bitter cold; where the seagulls are normal sized and no one makes fun of my accent; where my adorable pets, my guitar, and my hot tub are.

Back to the place I call home.

Although, it's not quite the same as I left it.

I think I've mentioned this fact before, but coming home to the reality of it wasn't -- and still ISN'T -- nice: My parents have sold my piano. My piano that has had dirty keys because I've played it so much. The piano that has a chip of wood off of the left handle to shut the cover for the keys. My piano that I've entertained numerous, probably hundreds, of guests with. My piano, that I would play probably every day, even if its just for the 5 or 10 minutes that I'm waiting for my toast to pop up, or the microwave to beep or the phone to ring or my ride to arrive. My dark wood, floral-carved, 100+ year-old piano. I am not, as you all know, a mother. I have no children, not even any pets that are really truly my own. My piano was like a child to me. It was probably one of the things, if not THE thing, that I treasured the most in this house, and now it's gone. And I never even got to say goodbye.

On the bright side, you'd think that it would motivated me more to play my trombone, right? Wrong. I mean, I have played the trombone a few times since I've been home, but #1, the piano is a lot nicer for non-music people (ie my family) to listen to, and appreciate. And #2, you can't really just pick up a trombone and play for 5 minutes. That's about 1/5 or 1/4 of my warm up time alone, and it's just not worth it - especially since you need to add assembly/disassembly (apparently that's not a word?) times. I have been playing a bit of guitar, though -- thanks go out to Alex Molloy on this one. My left hand fingers are getting a bit battered and bruised, though, so I'm thinking that this week will involve a lot more trombone playing than last. 

Another way that my house is different? Apparently the piano was a main reason that the living room had been the same as when we first moved into this house 15 years ago or so.  Now that it's gone, my family decided to redecorate my living room -- which, I must say, has been a welcome change. Its walls are now a beautiful chocolate brown colour, with white crown molding, white trim, and dark hardwood. The room was completed with a white mantlepiece, some dark leather chairs, and accents of turquoise all around the room. Now it's just a matter of a few more decorations and finishing touches. Looks very nice, if I do say so myself. Except, of course, that there's no piano.

So all of the things that USED to be in the living room were moved into the most convenient storage space in the house -- MY room. So now I have boxed full of table cloths, kitchen supplies, and who knows what else, all over my room! To top it all off, my little sister nabbed my duvet cover, and finding a summer job is turning out to be more than difficult.

I have seen a few friends from Queen's (5, to be exact), but of those 5, one is now in England, one is back in Toronto, and 2 have full-time jobs (one is back and forth between here and Ottawa). So it's hard to have a social life, especially living in the west end, so far away from campus. 

Needless to say, I'm still suffering from a severe case of PSD (Post Scotland Depression).  So many things that I see and smell and taste; so many people that I see walking down the street; so many songs I hear and inside jokes I end up telling to myself; reminds me of something there.  

It's so sad to me to think that I can't just walk down the road and get a yum yum from the Auld Toon Cafe; or ask Mrs. P how she's doing so that I can hear her say "Ah, fine, lass, how'r you?" in her thick-as-pudding accent; or go for a walk to the OCEAN; or a million other tiny things I miss about it already. That's not even mentioning the people. Alex, Sarah, Sima, Mia, Catie, Liv, Nina, Chris, Heather, Dale, David, Kathryn, Natasha, Isabelle, and Tugba are the ones I'll miss the most, but there are so many others I haven't named. 

Now I don't know what to do with myself. Last week was alright because Britt was here from Boston to visit, and my mom took the week off. But now, mom and dad are both at work, my little sister is finishing up classes (and when she's not at school, she's studying for exams or working), and Britt is back in Boston. It's like I came home and then everybody left. Even in the evenings, Tiin is usually with Jesse (I forgot that I missed him, too, when I was away!), and mom and dad are busy with work or out running errands. It feels like everyone just got so used to me being gone that it doesn't matter that I'm back anymore. Okay, so perhaps that's a BIT of an overstatement. Must be the PSD talking. It's just because I haven't found a job yet, so I have nothing to distract me with. Not only have I not found a summer job, but my "sideline" source of income, playing with the community jazz group "Sounds of Jazz" gave me a slap in the face today when they told me that their "summer personnel has been filled" and that I would "probably one of the first people" they contact if they need someone. Dang it. But I guess it's not my fault. I was away, and I guess they had to find someone else, not knowing when I'd be back. 

So on I trod to the real job hunt: I want to be working with people, preferably but not exclusively youth or children, in a field that interests me - education, travel, music, etc - OR, working outside. I didn't think it'd be too hard to find something, but I've sent in numerous resumes and no luck thus far. I have decided I do NOT want to work in another office job for the government. I have heard time and time again that passion is more important than money, and I refuse to spend another 3 or 4 months cooped up in an office building during the beautiful summer months, doing a mindless job that could easily be done by anyone else with a full-year job there; a job that was only given to me because they want to be able to say "look, people of the public, we employ students!". How patronizing. And energy-consuming. And boring for me. It's good, reliable pay, yes, and it's great hours (evenings and weekends off), but I simply cannot bring myself to do it.  I'm determined to find something that's right for me.

Besides sitting outside and basking in the sun, I have done a few productive things since I've been home. For instance, unpacking all of my Scotland stuff. And sewing on all of those buttons that fell off my jacket when we were in London. And renewing my health card. 

Oh, and we got a family photo taken! How cute!

The only downside is that, of COURSE, the day before our appointment, my skin decides to plant a MASSIVE pimple, RIGHT in the middle of my forehead, uncoverable by bangs or concealer or a stylish hat (which probably would have just stood out anyway). My dad kept tutting at me every time I brought it up, and giving me the "oh-grow-up-its-not-that-bad" look, but I swear to you, it's so huge that people are going to look at it and ask who the 6th member of the family is.

Mom, Britt, Tiin and I went for a pedicure last week. It was really nice, and my toenails look AMAZING, but I felt bad because I basically kicked the guy in the face because I was laughing so hard. I suppose I should have warned him about my ticklish feet.

Which reminds me -- while we were there, we were reading the most recent FLARE magazine ... in which my cousin, Kim, has a featured article! She didn't write the article, but she was the psychotherapist that they interviewed for one of the articles (p.118) !! How cool is that!? Go check it out! To help you find it in the stores, the cover looks like this:

 

I bought a new book at Chapters which is really interesting, and helping me with my trombone playing. It's all about thinking about music differently, and it's really intriguing. All of my tv shows are over, so it's hard to distract myself with that, and Wii's not really as fun when you play by yourself. I guess it's a good thing, though, because it's getting me outside. I'm going to try and be healthy this summer. I think that not having a car in Aberdeen was great because it made me walk everywhere...and now everywhere I have to go is too far to walk, anyway, so I have to drive, and I'm really not getting much exercise at ALL so I feel fat and lazy. Boooo. So yeah. I'm not promising a beach body (at least not this year...) but just a few less orders of poutine (basically a less healthy version of chips n' cheese for my UK friends) and ice cream for me. Well, maybe ice cream. We'll se about that. You can't live in the summer in Kingston and not have ice cream. Am I right?

I guess that's it for now. OH-- I GET TO SEE RACHEL TOMORROW! 

I'm so so sooo excited! She's in town after studying at the Queen's castle in England, and I can't wait to catch up with her! This week should be nice and full of reunions, ending with a big father's day supper on Sunday with my dad's side of the family here. Friends, family, no stress of work, and good, 'home' food...what more could a girl ask for?