What Now?

I know I said I'd write during the summer.

I suppose that makes me 2/3 of a liar.  I know that June and July are pretty much over, but I do still have 1/3 of the summer to make it up to you. But don't expect much. I was once told, "The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations." (No, actually, I just found it online now, but still, it's relevant, ok?)

The thing is, friends, I don't even know why I haven't written. I haven't even been busy. No one wants to hire me, so I'm still unemployed; I barely have any friends left in the city, and even fewer in the west end; and, to be completely honest, I barely get out of the house at all.

[*N.B. I shouldn't complain about the lack of employment, since I actually have received 2 job offers...but for moral and technical reasons far too intricate to type out here, I declined them both.*]

It's not that I don't want to get out and do things...it's just that I have a serious lack of motivation. I'm in a rut. A rut of lie-ins and vegging on the couch and sitting on the porch. I have been shopping a fair bit, but I always feel guilty when I do, because I don't really have the money to be spending. Kingston in the summer is a lonely place. I haven't even been to one party, it's hard for me to get downtown a lot of the time because of familial transportation issues, and it's difficult to meet people because of that. 

Kingston's going through a big heat wave (no complaints here!!) so weather is around 30 degrees every day and it's generally quite sunny. That's usually enough to keep me smiling, but every now and then the depression of not being in Scotland anymore crosses my mind and I start to reminisce again. It's not even like I have a piano to amuse myself with. Trombone just isn't the same, and guitar is starting to really kill my fingers.  But good news! I am looking into getting a keyboard or digital piano for next year. All I want is something full length with weighted keys. I don't think I need many bells and whistles, so I'm hoping I'll find something basic and decently priced soon. Suggestions?

My little sister is working most of the time, which is great for her, but not so great for me. I'm bored out of my mind most days and wait until she gets home from work and then we usually go to the gym together. That's one thing I've enjoyed about this summer -- I'm able to go to the gym and enjoy it! The first week was rough, really strenuous and stuff cause I was so out of shape, but I'm starting to get the hang of it now.  

My older sister is living in Boston, which is great for her, but no so great for me. She came into town last weekend with her boyfriend en route to a wedding in Collingwood, but it was for less than 12 hours, including sleeping, so it really wasn't much of a visit...although better than nothing, that's for sure!

I always seem to be really busy or really in a lull (lulling? lullish?). I like being busy, working and being productive, running from one thing to the next...and although I admit I do get stressed out sometimes, I like that kind of lifestyle. But I can't say that I don't enjoy waking up, making a nice healthy breakfast, and sitting around an relaxing, either. I suppose that this is what retirement is going to be like. Nice, but at the same time, quite boring. 

So, guess what? I came outside to type this, because I have wanted to get some fresh air, and I was peed on by a cushion. New low.

Yes, you read that right. There is a stack of outdoor chair cushions all stacked up under the canopy on the deck out back. But whoever put them there didn't put them entirely underneath the canopy, so that when the rain dripped off, it dripped onto the corner of the cushions. Unsuspecting me picked one up and put it on a chair, and JUST as I went to sit on it, felt a trickle on my foot. The corner of that cushion was (and is) as SOAKED as kids on the log ride at Wonderland.

Anyway, that's my life these days -- rehearsing for an upcoming audition, on the job hunt (although as time goes by, I'm becoming less and less enthusiastic about it), getting stuff for my new apartment in the fall, and trying not to go completely insane with -OHMYGOSH I THINK I JUST SAW A CROW EAT A BABY MOUSE - ...what was I saying? Oh yea, without going completely insane with boredom.

Well, folks, I'd love to sit and chat, but for now, I'm going to make like a bread truck and roll buns. Adios!

Becky