The days are seeming shorter and shorter.
Every time I think about leaving to go back to Canada, I feel like I'm wasting those moments thinking about going back instead of enjoying my time here.
Yesterday I handed in my last (and only!) assignment for my analysis course.
Tonight I had my last big band performance.
Last week was the last photography society meeting.
I've been to my last International society event, been on my last weekend adventure, and performed for the last time with trombone quartet.
All these "lasts"keep happening to me, and every time I think to myself "this is the last time I'll....", a little piece of my heart breaks.
At the same time, all of the amazing adventures next year at Queen's back with Keena and Mike (x2) and Sarah and Amanda and Crystal and Tim and Cory and Meryem; and a thousand other amazing people can't happen until I part with this year of my life.
All of the family suppers and hugs from my mom and the canoe trip this summer with my dad and silly little things I miss like my little sister being my personal fashion police and speaking entirely in movie/tv quotes with my older sister, can't happen until I say goodbye to this past year.
All of the brass parties and lunches from the Beaver Truck and late nights at Harrison LeCaine and sitting by the lake on a sunny day and eating of Mike's focaccia bread, and so many other things, can't happen until I'm back in Canada.
None of that can happen until I'm back home.
As you can see, I'm beginning to tear myself into 2 halves. One half that will dearly miss so many amazing people and things about Aberdeen, and another half that will be relieved and overjoyed and excited to be home.
To sum up the interrelation of my two lives, here's an idea to think about: Of the things I am looking forward to before I leave, the thing I think I am most looking forward to is my mom and sister coming over to see me!!! I can't WAIT to show them my life here! Like I want to show them "this is where I have breakfast" and "this is the path I take to get to class" and "this is what the practice rooms look like" and "this is my favourite place to sit outside" and "this is where that seagull sniped Mia's ham sandwich" and stuff, you know? I've wanted someone from home to come here SO BADLY so that someone else can see it with their own eyes, and not just have to experience Aberdeen and my life here through my blogs or through stories I tell.
I've said it already more than a few times when people have asked me if I'm excited to go home. I always say something like "you know, it's really bittersweet. I mean, of course I'm super excited to go home, but I also know that the second I get there, I'm going to wish I'm back here." What's a girl to do?
As promised, here's a list of things I've been jotting down over the past few weeks, of things I will miss about Aberdeen, and following that, a list of things I will NOT miss about Aberdeen. Needless to say, they're pretty even, not making my figuring-out-of-feelings any easier...hmmph.
-hearing amazing accents on a regular basis
-singing/playing Wicked and having tea time with Alex
-Weekend/day trips, and doing things just because I'm here. I've realized that I don't really go places on weekends in Kingston, mostly because 1) I have too much work and can't afford to, or 2) I just don't see the novelty in it.
-the convenience of caf food
-Trombone quartet with Dale, David, Heather and Callum. I'll miss you guys!! <3
-24 hour access to MacRobert. Although I've never gone there to study at the wee hours of the morning, I can't say I haven't used it as a convenient pee stop on the way back from Hillhead...
-people talking to me just to hear my "accent", or talking to me and complimenting me on it
-living literally a 3 minute walk from some of my classes, and nothing further than 10.
-paying the price you see on the price tag
-being surrounded by daffodils in the spring. SURROUNDED.
-cider
-every single girl in G Block
-The Bobbin
-the bartender at the Blue Lamp who doesn't know I refer to him as Ernie (have I told that story?)
-having a maximum of 5.5 hours a week, plus rehearsals (and having that number drop down to 3.5 hours a week for the last 6 weeks of term)
-bbc iplayer
-I'm just going to say it: Mrs. P, from the hub. Although she may moan and scold us, we all love her.
-tiki vanilla lattes
-cool food: Happy Hippos, Galaxy chocolate, Irn Bru, Milky Chews, HARIBO, and much more.
-being surrounded by British humour
-laughing to myself when someone asks to "borrow a rubber" when asking for an eraser
-all my amazing friends I've met here!!!
-post being delivered twice a day!
-Kyhber Pass (Best. Indian. Take-away. EVER.)
-receiving post, for that matter, since I never get it at home -- and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has sent me mail this year!!!
-having so much free time I don't know what to do with myself
-having unfamiliar faces around. This might seem like a weird thing to miss, but sometimes in Kingston I find it weird that I run into people from my high school or teachers that I've had in the past, or other people who I know. In a strange way, that makes me feel like I'm being watched...
-my little brownies
-not having to deal with QCARD
-the taste and nutritional value caf food
-being known as "the girl who's going back to Canada", at best
-not having a hot tub
-not having screens on windows -- bugs keep flying in my room!
-those nasty crusted-milk shavings that fall off the milk bottle when you unscrew the lid
-separate hot and cold taps, so that my hands get either completely burnt or frozen when washing my hands
-CAS marks (marks out of 20). Don't even get me started on how silly the marking is here
-having to use public toilets ALL THE TIME. My motto when it comes to public toilets is "hover, don't cover", so needless to say, it'll be nice to be home on my own can.
-unorganized administration
-not having quality peanut butter available
-having to basically LIVE in my wellies and raincoat for the 2 months of October and November
Every time I think about leaving to go back to Canada, I feel like I'm wasting those moments thinking about going back instead of enjoying my time here.
Yesterday I handed in my last (and only!) assignment for my analysis course.
Tonight I had my last big band performance.
Last week was the last photography society meeting.
I've been to my last International society event, been on my last weekend adventure, and performed for the last time with trombone quartet.
All these "lasts"keep happening to me, and every time I think to myself "this is the last time I'll....", a little piece of my heart breaks.
At the same time, all of the amazing adventures next year at Queen's back with Keena and Mike (x2) and Sarah and Amanda and Crystal and Tim and Cory and Meryem; and a thousand other amazing people can't happen until I part with this year of my life.
All of the family suppers and hugs from my mom and the canoe trip this summer with my dad and silly little things I miss like my little sister being my personal fashion police and speaking entirely in movie/tv quotes with my older sister, can't happen until I say goodbye to this past year.
All of the brass parties and lunches from the Beaver Truck and late nights at Harrison LeCaine and sitting by the lake on a sunny day and eating of Mike's focaccia bread, and so many other things, can't happen until I'm back in Canada.
None of that can happen until I'm back home.
As you can see, I'm beginning to tear myself into 2 halves. One half that will dearly miss so many amazing people and things about Aberdeen, and another half that will be relieved and overjoyed and excited to be home.
To sum up the interrelation of my two lives, here's an idea to think about: Of the things I am looking forward to before I leave, the thing I think I am most looking forward to is my mom and sister coming over to see me!!! I can't WAIT to show them my life here! Like I want to show them "this is where I have breakfast" and "this is the path I take to get to class" and "this is what the practice rooms look like" and "this is my favourite place to sit outside" and "this is where that seagull sniped Mia's ham sandwich" and stuff, you know? I've wanted someone from home to come here SO BADLY so that someone else can see it with their own eyes, and not just have to experience Aberdeen and my life here through my blogs or through stories I tell.
I've said it already more than a few times when people have asked me if I'm excited to go home. I always say something like "you know, it's really bittersweet. I mean, of course I'm super excited to go home, but I also know that the second I get there, I'm going to wish I'm back here." What's a girl to do?
As promised, here's a list of things I've been jotting down over the past few weeks, of things I will miss about Aberdeen, and following that, a list of things I will NOT miss about Aberdeen. Needless to say, they're pretty even, not making my figuring-out-of-feelings any easier...hmmph.
Things I will miss about Aberdeen:
-Summertime daylight hours. By the time I leave, the hours between sunrise and sunset will be up to 17.5 per day.-hearing amazing accents on a regular basis
-singing/playing Wicked and having tea time with Alex
-Weekend/day trips, and doing things just because I'm here. I've realized that I don't really go places on weekends in Kingston, mostly because 1) I have too much work and can't afford to, or 2) I just don't see the novelty in it.
-the convenience of caf food
-Trombone quartet with Dale, David, Heather and Callum. I'll miss you guys!! <3
-24 hour access to MacRobert. Although I've never gone there to study at the wee hours of the morning, I can't say I haven't used it as a convenient pee stop on the way back from Hillhead...
-people talking to me just to hear my "accent", or talking to me and complimenting me on it
-living literally a 3 minute walk from some of my classes, and nothing further than 10.
-paying the price you see on the price tag
-being surrounded by daffodils in the spring. SURROUNDED.
-cider
-every single girl in G Block
-The Bobbin
-the bartender at the Blue Lamp who doesn't know I refer to him as Ernie (have I told that story?)
-having a maximum of 5.5 hours a week, plus rehearsals (and having that number drop down to 3.5 hours a week for the last 6 weeks of term)
-bbc iplayer
-I'm just going to say it: Mrs. P, from the hub. Although she may moan and scold us, we all love her.
-tiki vanilla lattes
-cool food: Happy Hippos, Galaxy chocolate, Irn Bru, Milky Chews, HARIBO, and much more.
-being surrounded by British humour
-laughing to myself when someone asks to "borrow a rubber" when asking for an eraser
-all my amazing friends I've met here!!!
-post being delivered twice a day!
-Kyhber Pass (Best. Indian. Take-away. EVER.)
-receiving post, for that matter, since I never get it at home -- and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has sent me mail this year!!!
-having so much free time I don't know what to do with myself
-having unfamiliar faces around. This might seem like a weird thing to miss, but sometimes in Kingston I find it weird that I run into people from my high school or teachers that I've had in the past, or other people who I know. In a strange way, that makes me feel like I'm being watched...
-my little brownies
-not having to deal with QCARD
Things I will NOT miss about Aberdeen:
-EVIL, MUTANT-SIZED SEAGULLS and every bad thing related with them. Like being afraid to eat outside.-the taste and nutritional value caf food
-being known as "the girl who's going back to Canada", at best
-not having a hot tub
-not having screens on windows -- bugs keep flying in my room!
-those nasty crusted-milk shavings that fall off the milk bottle when you unscrew the lid
-separate hot and cold taps, so that my hands get either completely burnt or frozen when washing my hands
-CAS marks (marks out of 20). Don't even get me started on how silly the marking is here
-having to use public toilets ALL THE TIME. My motto when it comes to public toilets is "hover, don't cover", so needless to say, it'll be nice to be home on my own can.
-unorganized administration
-not having quality peanut butter available
-having to basically LIVE in my wellies and raincoat for the 2 months of October and November
-Johnston laundry machines
-the instrument storage system (get into the music side of the building, open the safe, sign out the key, go over to the non-music side of the building, use the key to open the mass instrument storage room, get out my trombone, lock the door, go back to the music side, put the key back in the safe, and sign in the key) and having to lug my music around with me
-nothing starting on time. Not classes, not performances, not society meetings...the list goes on, really. Although I can't say that the late time hasn't come in handy a few times when I've been running late
-living in a freaky back-in-the-woods hall
-having to do 10 MCA's PER TERM, with little choices of ones that count.
-having to wear flip flops in the shower
-being woken up at 4:30am by drunken hallmates
-having to pay for the bus
-having to pay for the gym
-not having Walk Home
-not being able to share it all with my closest pals
-feeling out of place in the music department
-being within visiting distance of my sisters, parents, grandpa, and friends
-the absence of bubble tea, poutine, Dairy Queen and Tim Hortons
So there you have it, friends. Now you can see why I am so torn up. I'm sure there's more to add to the list, but it's getting late so I think I'll end it there.
I haven't been taking many pictures lately, mostly because I've been trying to overcome 'fitting the world in a picture frame', like musical icon John Mayer once said. But I know I've had a lack of visual entertainment lately, so I thought I'd share this video with you, which I discovered through a friend of mine, Kelsey, who's also on exchange here this year. I think we all need to do this more often.
Kelsey: I'm sorry for stealing your link. And everyone else: Enjoy!
2 comments:
That video was so cute!! I like when she says that she likes her house and then does this little clap lol.
And just to let you know. That temperature outside today in Kingston is 23 degrees. :) You will get to enjoy the warm weather soon enough!
That video is awesome.
You must tell me the Ernie story sometime, it sounds intriguing.
I'll have some focaccia bread in the oven when you come home...
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